Notes of The Elements of Style (II)--Elementray Principles of Composition [The Elements of Style 笔记2]
We use # to show example stenances
1. Use the active voice
# I shall always remember my first visit to Boston.
# My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.
# My first visit to Boston will always be remembered.
The first sentence [active voice] is more direct, more bold, and more concise. If the writer tries to make it more concise by omitting “by me”, it becomes indefinite: is it the writer or some undisclosed person or the world at large that will always remember this visit?
2. Many a tame sentence of description or exposition can be made lively and emphatic by substituting a transitive in the active voice for some such perfunctory expression as there is or could be heard.
# There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground. [Passive]
# Dead leaves covered the ground. [Active, Better]
# At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard. [Passive]
# The cock’s crow came with dawn. [Active, Better]
# The reason he left college was that his health became impaired. [Passive]
# Failing health compelled him to leave college. [Active, Better]
# It was not long before she was very sorry that she had said what she had. [Passive]
# She soon repented her words. [Active, Better]
3. Put statements in positive form
3.1 Use the word not as a means of denial or in antithesis, never as a means of evasion.
# He was not very often on time. [Negative]
# He usually came late. [Positive, Better]
# She did not think that studying Latin was a sensible way to use one’s time. [Negative]
# She thought the study of Latin a waste of time. [Positive, Better]
The above two examples show the weakness inherent in the word not.
3.2 As a rule, it is better to express even a negative in positive form.
# not honest vs. dishonest
# not important vs. trifling
# did not have much confidence in vs. distrusted
3.3 If your every sentence admits a doubt, your writing will lack authority. Save the auxiliaries would, should, could, may, might, and can for situations involving real uncertainty.
So, use auxiliaries too often is unnecessary. They should be used in the situations involving real uncertainty.
# Applicants can make a good impression by being neat and punctual.
# Applicants will make a good impression if they are neat and punctual. [will is better]
# Plath may be ranked among those modem poets who died young.
# Plath was one of those modern poets who died young. [was is better]
3.4 Use definite, specific, concrete language.
Prefer the specific to the general, the definite to the vague, the concrete to the abstract.
# A period of unfavorable weather set in. [general and abstract]
# It rained every day for a week. [concrete]
# He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward. [general and abstract]
# He grinned as he pocketed the coin. [concrete]
4. Omit needless words
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts [I am a big fan of conciseness, but my words are always tedious].
# the question as to whether vs. whether (the question whether)
# there is no doubt but that vs. no doubt (doubtless)
# used for fuel purposes vs. used for fuel
# he is a man who vs. he
# in a hasty manner vs. hastily
# this is a subject that vs. this subject
# Her story is a strange one. vs. Her story is strange.
# the reason why is that vs. because
4.1 The fact that is an especially debilitating expression. It should be revised out of every sentence in which it occurs.
# owing to the fact that vs. since (because)
# in spite of the fact that vs. though (although)
# call your attention to the fact that vs. remind you (notify you)
# I was unaware of the fact that vs. I was unaware that (did not know)
# the fact that he had not succeeded vs. his failure
# the fact that I had arrived vs. my arrival
Oerall, as the active voice is more concise than the passive, and a positive statement more concise than a negative one.
5. Express coordinate ideas in similar form
5.1 Correlative expressions (both, and; not, but; not only, but also; either, or; first, second, third; and the like) should be followed by the same grammatical construction
# It was both a long ceremony and very tedious. vs. The ceremony was both long and tedious.
# A time not for words but action. vs. A time not for words but for action.
# Either you must grant his request or incur his ill will. vs. You must either grant his request or incur his ill will.
# My objections are, first, the injustice of the measure; second, that it is unconstitutional. vs. My objections are, first, that the measure is unjust; second, that it is unconstitutional.
6. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end
The proper place in the sentence for the word or group of words that the writer desires to make most prominent is usually the end.
# Humanity has hardly advanced in fortitude since that time, though it has advanced in many other ways. [the emphatic words are at the start]
# Since that time, humanity has advanced in many ways, but it has hardly advanced in fortitude. [the emphatic words are at the end, better]
# This steel is principally used for making razors, because of its hardness. [the emphatic words are at the start]
# Because of its hardness, this steel is used principally for making razors. [the emphatic words are at the end, better]